A Very Important Question
by Toasted Crumpet
Summary: Dialogue fic! SLASH Arthur has a very pressing and personal question he wants to ask Merlin: "Are you a virgin?" which Merlin answers and leads to much fluff.


A very personal question

**Fandom**: Merlin (BBC)

**pairings:** Merlin/Arthur

**Rating**: PG-13

**Spoilers:** Mentions of the labyrinth of Gedref

S**ummary: ****Dialogue fic! **Arthur has a very pressing and personal question he wants to ask Merlin: "Are you a virgin?" which Merlin answers and leads to much fluff.

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****A/N: **Inspiration drawn from the unicorn legends and the desire to only write dialogue. I hope it isn't too confusing_

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_"Merlin."_

_"Yes Arthur."_

_"Do- Since when are we on a first name basis?"_

_"Since you told me to call you Arthur when we were alone in you chambers."_

Pause. _"Really?"_

Sigh. _"Yes."_

Scratches chin. _"I don't remember that."_

Smirk. _"That's probably because you attempted to drown yourself in the mulled wine a week ago and told me to call you Arthu."_

Nostalgic smile. _"Oh yeah. Now I remember."_

"_Would you like me to stop calling you Arthur then?"_

_"No."_ Discreet cough. _"No, Arthur is fine."_

_"Alright."_

_"Good. That's—good. What were we talking about this again?"_

_"I believe you were going to ask me something."_

_"Oh. Ah, yes. Stop distracting me, Merlin."_

An incredulous choke. _"Distracting you?! I did no su-"_

_"Yes, distracting me. Now, can I ask you a question?"_

A suspicious glare. _"What kind of Question?"_

_"A personal question."_

_"…It depends how personal the question is."_

_"Very, Very personal. You could even say – intimate."_

_"Uh,"_ Blink. _"Do I have to answer it?"_

Thinks. _"No, I suppose not. You could say no- but then I would probably order you to answer it."_

Half-hearted attempt at a glare. "_Then why ask me if you can ask it in the first place?"_

Disbelieving stare. _"Because I thought I would be chivalrous and you will be accommodating. Really, Merlin. Get with the programme."_

_ "Fine! Fine. Just-Just ask it."_

_Smile. "Are you a virgin?"_

_"…"_

_"…"_

_"Arthur, I don't think I heard you correctly. Could you repeat that?"_

_"Certainly. Are you a virgin?"_

_"Oh god."_

_"It's something that has been playing on my mind since The Incident Of The Unicorn."_

_"Wait, what has unicorns got to do with this?"_

Rolls eyes. _"Because everyone knows that unicorns only let themselves be touched by virgins. Don't you know how the legends go?"_

Indignant huff. _"It's something that hasn't really kept with me, no."_

_"…"_

_"…."_

_"Well?"_

_"Well what?"_

_"Are you a virgin?"_

Awkward shift. _"Do I really have to answer it?"_

_"I'm afraid so, Merlin. Unless you want me to make it a royal order?"_

_"I think it will have to be an order. Or else my dignity wouldn't be able to take it if I just tell you."_

_"Alright then. Merlin, I order you to tell me if you are a virgin. And it has to be truthful!"_

Deep sigh. _"sjduijdjddinm"_

_"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. You mumbled that into your neck scarf."_

_"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"_

_"Immensely."_

_"Prat."_

_"Idiot."_

_"Royal prat with a royal stick up his a-"_

_"Just get on with it, Merlin!"_

_"Yes! Yes, I'm a virgin. Happy now?"_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes."_

_"A virgin?"_

_"…Yes."_

_"Wow."_

_"It's not that big a deal, Arthur."_

_"I know. It's just…"_

Confused. _"What?"_

_"I, uh, can't understand why you would still be a virgin."_

_"Look, it hasn't really been at the top of my list of 'things-to-do'. In case you haven't noticed, being your manservant and helping Gaius out has pretty much taken up all of my spare time."_

_"That wasn't what I meant."_

_"And do bang on about the reputation of village boys, we both know that it doesn't apply to me."_

_"I didn't mean that either. Look, would you just shut up for one minute?"_

_"It had better be good."_

The Look.

_"Shutting up now."_

_"What I meant to say was… that, um… you're a decent enough guy. Easy on the eyes. A little on the sarcastic side, but not enough for anyone to be put off…"_

_"Um…"_

"_I just can't understand why you would still be a virgin."_

Blush. _"Oh."_

_"Yes."_

_"Thank you."_

Small smile. _"You're welcome."_


End file.
